You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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