I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
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