tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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