vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
