btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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