If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
it was like having sex with a tree stump
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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