If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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