There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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