Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
