I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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