dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Holy sore nipples Batman
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
