didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
