She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize
