he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
