Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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