absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
