I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
