she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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