I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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