This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Randomize
