part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
