One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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