Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
