This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Randomize
