WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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