Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Randomize
