Hey man sorry I got all grabby
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
