We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
