whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
