now i know why i became what i already was.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
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