nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I just cut my nipple shaving
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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