I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
