just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
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