Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
