Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
she told me i tasted like america
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
