If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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