yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
