no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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