I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
