I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
