is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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