well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
