dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Randomize
