I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
