toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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