why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
