They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
