I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
