Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
