I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
