yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
